I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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