Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
there was a trapeze. enough said
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
