Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
