Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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