I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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