If i come over, it means nothing
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
