She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
