yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
