No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
