I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
