You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She said her name was "party"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
