Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
