they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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