is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
