so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just threw up on my dentist
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
