I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
