so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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