we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
