Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
