The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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