My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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