Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
