ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
