every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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