Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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