I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
