I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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