Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
