i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Randomize