i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We are two peas in an std pod
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
