If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Do vagina's smell?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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