They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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