A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
