at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
