why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
