im holly from the hills drunk
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
