I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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