well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
only you would photoshop your dick
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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