I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
