it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
