Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
this is an emotional support booty call
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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