Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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