I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
