Just cropdusted the office
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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