"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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