meet me or not, i'm out of control
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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