well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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