I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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