Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
