so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
