Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
