Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
