Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
