so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
