how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sext me about skeletons
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
