Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
