If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
