If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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