I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sorry about my life...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
